Tuesday, September 14, 2004

 

Forget the "Should's" -It's OK to change your mind

How many times have you forced yourself to stay to the end of the movie even though you just hated it; or read a book to the end even when you were not at all interested; or done anything else simply because you had, at some point, thought that's what you wanted to do?
Last Spring, I signed up for a Mindulfness in Daily Living Retreat which was to take place from this past Sunday to next Saturday. I really wanted to learn more about mindfulness as a way to reduce stress, both for myself and my clients and this was what I thought a great way to do it. The retreat was scheduled (as you can see I am writing in the past tense!!!)all day last Sunday and every morning from 6:30 to 9:00 and every evening from 5:30 to 9:00 this week, plus a half day on Saturday. I attended the Sunday all day,meditation in complete silence part of it. As the day progressed, I started feeling more and more stressed because I realized that there were other things a) I wanted to do and b) I needed to do. Learning about mindfulness was a great goal, but the in-silence-retreat model was not for me, and the timing was also completely off. I finished the day and some "should's" surfaced. I should at least attend a few evenings, I had paid for it, etc., etc. etc. Finally reason prevailed and I decided that I had already mortgaged my time enough. I showed up Monday evening to let the organizer and the participants know of my decision.
Take your day planner for the next week and highlight in one color all the "should's" of your life and decide what you want to eliminate: being on a committee; being a volunteer; exercise; take a class. Either decide it's something you really want to do it or ditch it! Carrying a life of should's weighs you down. It zaps your energy. Say I want to instead of I have to. Make everything a choice.

P.S. I feel wonderful to have all this extra time this week!

Marguerite Tennier
The coach who wants to change the world
One Man at a Time

http://www.canadascoach.com



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