Thursday, February 03, 2005
Boundaries for Love
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within u." W. Morrow
I was speaking with a client this morning about being the "Screener" in her life as opposed to being the "Screenee" as a way to get more true love into her life.
I gave her the example of when we shop at the grocery store. We wouldn't think of taking home a produce, chicken or a piece of meat because it was the only one left on the shelf. We normally take the time to inspect and look at the expiry date. That is unless we are starving and this is the only store around and our fride is empty. And if you have ever been sick with some kind of food, you know how long it takes to risk eating that food again, if ever.
However, when it comes to relationships, if our emotional fridge is empty, we often act as though this is the only "love" we will ever find. We don't inspect to evaluate whether this is the same kind of "love" that got us sick before, or if it shows signs of toxic mould (people who criticize you, your appearance, put you down, make off-hand jokes, use you, laugh at you, how you look, what you are trying to accomplish, etc., etc., etc.)
In this month of Love, is your emotional frideg empty? What would fill it? Loving friends and family are good staples along with love for yourself and creative pursuits. Being involved in your community as a volunteer will also help fill your fridge. If you don't have enough of those, what can you do this week to stock up?
Re-connect with "good stock" people, call a family member who loves and supports you, find a creative pursuit, buy and read an inspiring book?
Mostly, be aware when you are about to "buy" because of fear.
Marguerite Tennier
http://www.canadascoach.com
I was speaking with a client this morning about being the "Screener" in her life as opposed to being the "Screenee" as a way to get more true love into her life.
I gave her the example of when we shop at the grocery store. We wouldn't think of taking home a produce, chicken or a piece of meat because it was the only one left on the shelf. We normally take the time to inspect and look at the expiry date. That is unless we are starving and this is the only store around and our fride is empty. And if you have ever been sick with some kind of food, you know how long it takes to risk eating that food again, if ever.
However, when it comes to relationships, if our emotional fridge is empty, we often act as though this is the only "love" we will ever find. We don't inspect to evaluate whether this is the same kind of "love" that got us sick before, or if it shows signs of toxic mould (people who criticize you, your appearance, put you down, make off-hand jokes, use you, laugh at you, how you look, what you are trying to accomplish, etc., etc., etc.)
In this month of Love, is your emotional frideg empty? What would fill it? Loving friends and family are good staples along with love for yourself and creative pursuits. Being involved in your community as a volunteer will also help fill your fridge. If you don't have enough of those, what can you do this week to stock up?
Re-connect with "good stock" people, call a family member who loves and supports you, find a creative pursuit, buy and read an inspiring book?
Mostly, be aware when you are about to "buy" because of fear.
Marguerite Tennier
http://www.canadascoach.com
